Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So many bounce houses so little time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
