Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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