you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I need to wash the frat house off of me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
