Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
