Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
