You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
