U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
