We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize