Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Randomize
