It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
