I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My vagina is very pro this idea
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
