I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
