So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
