Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm really busy with my period
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