I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
