ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i now understand why vodka
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
