You don't have asthma, your pregnant
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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