I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
