Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Randomize
