If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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