I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
too bad you live with your parents still
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
