Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
