Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
