He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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