do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
