it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
