Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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