We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
