Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
dude. I can hear the air.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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