The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
