It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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