I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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