I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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