Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
