I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
