oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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