I can tuck mytits in my pants
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
