please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
