i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize