farters have to be the big spoon...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize