Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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