Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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