I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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