Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
