After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
