i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
