my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize