If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We have so much sex to catch up on
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
