You really coming over, don't trick.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
