I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
