Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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