One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
