She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize