Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
