is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
