Having a random hookup so left but love u
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
