she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
false alarm, still single
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
