Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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