ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
