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• (917): View more from New York City

  Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now

  (917): View more from New York City

  Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  But happy liver failure. That's what counts.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

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• (530): View more from California

  Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?

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• (585): View more from New York

  A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  Married life problems?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!

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• (310): View more from California

  hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it

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