oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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