She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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